Brief Update

I'm going to assume most of you have seen my email update, so won't repeat everything here -
But the gist of the latest news is this:
The doc I went to see for a second opinion tells me I need to be seen elsewhere, by someone who's an expert in ovarian cancer. We are in wholehearted agreement although of course this isn't the best time of year for us to take off. She tells me I cannot wait until the haying is done as my cancer is extremely aggressive and worrisome, so... we (or at least I) will be taking off before long, I'd imagine.


She telephoned yesterday to say she's contacted a colleague at the Univ of CA - San Fran - with whom she's seen excellent results in other ovarian cancer patients. I attempted to phone them to set up an appointment but haven't heard back yet. In the meantime, I started the second chemo round which is doing its best to wipe me out. I'd forgotten what this felt like, and with all there is to do, it is such a pain to have no energy, but I'm trying to take it easy because if I don't, the weary stage lasts even longer.


On cheerier sides of things, the haying is going well in spite of taking time off for the whole of Cody. We love the lesson that when we take time to put spiritual things first, we are never sorry.

An Even Fuller Heart...

Here we are - home again, stacking hay and wondering how on earth 4 days can go that quickly! It baffles the mind.

But we had incredible, precious days of feasting and are now better prepared to face the battles ahead, just as I know you all are. How fortunate a people are we - that we have unlimited power on our side!

Jona: I hear wonderful things about you!! Take it from me, it's worth it. It's worth every little price you pay in humility and self-denial because it's REAL. The help, the comfort, the joy - even when it doesn't seem it could possibly be - it's real, every bit of it. I've proven it over and over again.

Beth R: I saw your daughter at Cody - what a beautiful girl! Thanks for your notes and thoughts our way. It's so great to hear from you and to keep in touch.

Emily: I'm sorry I didn't get to see you at Cody, but one of these days we'll meet for real. =)

Kathy W and Lisa W: thanks so much for your encouraging words at Cody. Maybe you know, but maybe you don't, how much help they were. I shall hold them close to my heart forever. (I'm not sure how many folks read my blog, but this note is true for so many of you! It was incredible to hear and feel all your love and support.)

Aw shucks - it'll take all day to write personal notes and for some reason, the convention laundry is not obeying my command to wash itself, the stubborn things! - -so please just know I think of and am glad for every single one of you who's taken the time to write here, call, send emails, or just think of us in the secret place. Thank you dear friends!

Some convention memories...

Goin' to Meetin':

Comparing Sibling Hair-do's:

And yes, here we seriously are slicing olives! AND we cut grapes in half. But, y'know, no one complained. OH WAIT!! Maybe one person did... hmmm... can you remember who that might've been, Jen?? =) (She was only in jest though, everyone, and kept us all in stitches while we sliced. And sliced. And sliced. And sliced. And ... etc.)

A Full Heart

It's so worth it to read everyone's heartfelt comments that I wanted to write another quick note before we leave to thank you and also to send a quick update.

I heard yesterday that my heart scan was normal which means I can begin chemotherapy. Yippee! Yay! Hooray...zip-a-dee-do-dah ...Yeah, sure.... =)

Anyway I'm approved for Doxil which is a monthly chemo drug, versus the one I may have to have next, which is every week for 3 weeks, then 1 week off. Ugh. Anyway, that's the good news. The not-so-great news is it's not that effective... none of the 2nd line ones are. In most women it just sorta holds off the cancer until they are able to try that first-line drug again because that's the one that kills it.

Another proviso: I see a doctor the Tuesday after Cody for a 2nd opinion. We were advised to do so and feel it's very good advice, so off we go. And who knows... she may have a completely different opinion. Then I'll have more decisions to make. Ah, what fun. =)

But that's the latest and greatest. Keep your fingers crossed for DEAD cancer cells, even if this chemo doesn't usually do that.

Thanks and much love from the couple with the best friends & family on earth.

Sundays...

Well it's Sunday morning and the thoughts in this household are with all of you at Chug. I'm sure you're having wonderful days and although our physical selves are here, our hearts are there, and have been all week. We are still planning on all of Cody, thanks to docs who tell me "just GO". I hope to see many of you there.

We're baling hay like crazy around here. Seems every other day someone is calling who needs some done. I wish Andy knew how to say 'no', but he always, always makes it work out. I never cease to be amazed.

This photo is me with Gus, the 2-year-old I insisted we buy back when he was a yearling. He's not register-able as he was born to 2 registered Quarter Horses (oops, must've been an Appy back in a woodpile somewhere - the guy wanted to sell him FAST so no one could see the evidence. *smile*) But I knew he had awesome potential. And I was right. We're breaking him now and he's learning quickly, smooth at a trot, gonna be fast and fun and sweet, sweet, sweet! ... Probably because I've been working with him off and on since we got him, been picking up his feet, sacking him out (waving tarps and such to get him used to funny, scary noises) and climbing up on him since he was big enough to carry me.
Anyway, don't try to tell me HE's not gorgeous. (Or even if you think he's dog-ugly, don't tell me because I won't believe you. =)
(Mel and Shell - I think of what you told us about your mom loving appys, because I bet she would've loved him. Makes me think of her when I'm working with him. )

Quick health update:
I talked to my oncologist and he says that although there aren't yet any true tumors in my abdomen (it's more "little nodules" and "thickening" of some internal linings and some enlarged lymph nodes), that we DO need to get chemo going after we find out the results from a few more tests this week. I told him I had a church convention to go to next week and wouldn't miss it for chemo, cancer or any other circumstance. He says, "Good. GO. It'll probably do you more good than I could." *smile*. I spoke with the PA who works at my oncology clinic and she told me the same thing .... "it's not going to be life-threatening to you if you go, and any time you can experience spiritual refreshing, you should do it." So even my docs agree these are important days. =)
So looks like I'll be starting chemo again after Cody, hoping it'll hold the cancer in check.

And that's the scoop! Thanks so much for all your notes. We love them, they are so encouraging. Andy comes in from working and asks, "do we have any more emails or comments I can read?"

Here's a pic he took of me today, being lazy and cuddling with pets... And soon I hope to get some photos of us working, so it's not all just ones of ME on here. =)

thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you =)

Oh what grandness to hear from so many of you! I promise you, it is such an encouragement to read notes from supporters. (So keep it up if you can. And if you haven't written yet, you still should. *smile)
As for my health - I don't know much I didn't know before. I'm waiting for a second opinion on the reading of the CT scan and then a plan of action. It will probably primarily include chemotherapy (new drug since the first ones weren't effective) that will hold up tumor growth, and possibly surgery. They do want to continue to be aggressive due to my (relatively =)) young age and otherwise good health. I shall keep posting as I know more, but I am feeling very, very good and am as happy and contented as ever. Those aren't just words - - we really are doing well. Probably largely thanks to all of you and your many thoughts our way.
THANK YOU!

Here's a beautiful photo I took today. I think he was posing. He stayed here for ages...

We had the funniest experience last night. Some person stops outside our driveway and turns off their headlights at about 10:45 pm. We're thinking, 'hmmm, this is ODD... and potentially not good." So out we go to investigate and we find:

A scantily clad man with a prosthetic leg who was under the influence of many questionable substances by the look and smell of him, stumbling around in the dark near his RV which is now at an extremely perilous 45-degree angle in the ditch outside our house. It's maintaining its precarious balance only by the amount of mud, dirt and weeds that is piled along the down side of the vehicle. When we arrive he tells us, "wow, these things can sure get kinda rough to handle after you've 'had a few'. I just couldn't quite make the corner there!"

[Important side note: this is no 'corner there'. We're on a very straight section of the road, so his recently ingested substances were evidently causing him some confusion or hallucinations.]

He is screaming (literally) at his wife/girlfriend/slave/pet telling her it's her fault somehow. (Maybe because she keeps saying, 'the reason you didn't make the turn is because there WASN'T one' and this angers him more every second, until submissive silence finally overcomes her drunken stubborness.)

[Fast forward or this story could go on forever... ] After he's told it really wouldn't be a good idea to try to pull the RV out in the middle of the night in his ... um... "poor mental state", this is his drunken response: "Oh! I know !!! Why don't we instead just roll it CLEAR over. Onto its wheels!!!"

Why what brilliance! Now there, folks, is a man with a plan! I look at him and I think, why on earth did I marry dear Andy when there are such flawless specimens out there waiting to be caught?!

[Another side note] Andy just asked me what I was typing and when I told him he says, 'tell them about the part where I beat the guy up for driving drunk and gave him an invitation to meeting'

hee hee. =) But what he actually said this morning after he helped them get out was even better. Instead of allowing the guy to pay him he said, "Mister, I don't want your money. I just want you to tell me that you will never come around here again. This is where I raise my family and if I do see you anywhere near here, I will call the police". Gotta love these wonderful hubbies!

Here's a photo of Andy's assistance with their morning's rescue. It'll give you a bit of an appreciation for our excitement and maybe you can see a little of how straight the road is in front of our place. The foreground is just our little driveway, not the main road. Yippee!! Never a dull moment. =)

Ugh

Well here's a photo like I promised, but it doesn't come along with good news, unfortunately. I don't know how many of you get my email updates, so thought it might be a good idea to post a copy of the email here as well.

My cancer's back. I had been feeling a bit puny so went to get the cancer test and sure enough, it was elevated. I had a CT scan Wednesday and it shows it starting in there again.

So what does this mean? Mostly that I'll be doing the chemo thing again and keeping fingers crossed for a few more good years. But... we're all living for a lot bigger goal than just a good long life here, so it's very good for perspective.

Please don't worry about me - we're strong, Andy and I (as you can see in this photo Tiff took tonight) - and happy and prayerful. Also, I'm feeling really good - have plenty of energy, so I've been working in the yard and gardening and horseback riding and helping to transplant lots of those plants from Tiff's greenhouse.

Feel free to comment here, or you can email instead, but either way I'd love to hear from all of you. Fellowship, friendship and support are wonderful and amazingly heart-warming, so all of you who are usually lurkers, make the break, take a few seconds and talk to me! =)

I'll write more as I know more. Thanks a million for all your thoughts our way, and again, please don't worry!!!

Photo-less for now

Our camera's still on the fritz (hmmm, is that a word?) so I haven't gotten any photos posted, but wanted to let everyone know we were still alive. I am desperate to get some hair pics on here just for fun. It's pretty crazy having such short hair... I'm forever catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror and going, "oh help, is THAT what I look like?" I still - after all this time - picture myself with a big old pile of hair. Slow learner, I guess. =)

Anyway, hopefully there will soon be photos to attach here so all the rest of you can share in the hair growing.