Woo-Hooooo!

Oh now see how much more fun that was!! That is just splendid to hear from all of you! I guess I just needed a little reinforcement and I got it. Thanks! I shall keep on posting and if you want to keep on commenting, that'd be just fine with me! :)

So Onward dear blog readers!

As for barn photos, my dear Melody, I shall post a few for you. We aren't as far along as we'd like to be. This time of year there are just way too many things slowing us up, but it's coming along as you shall see. The main inside portion is up and they'll add the "wings" on the sides that'll contain the stalls in the next day or two. Those you'll just have to imagine for now. One of the best parts is it'll have a green metal roof. Well ...that's not the best part in itself - - the best part is that we also bought green metal for our HOUSE and it'll match, which is nice. But nicest is that I won't have to cover my piano and my pillow and my guest bed and my computer and my furniture and my.... (etc., you get the picture) every time it rains or the snow melts. That, friends, is the best part!

My computer crashed. That's the news of the day. I was typing away, working like mad and it just went blank and died. I'm going to take it in the the computer hospital and all of you need to be sending good vibes this way because our business is on there with the thousand documents I created for it, our accounting program, not to mention all the photos I've taken. This is agony, as any of you who've lost your "brain" in a computer crash will know. Keep your fingers crossed for at least a partial recovery of files, even if the computer itself has croaked!!!

And here's the latest on my health... (how psychologically interesting I put it below the barn and the computer crashing news. Someone should study me and my weird response to this disease.)

Anyway, my heart has been acting up lately, beating FAR too fast and it's been scaring me and the doctors both. I can't tolerate much more than a slow walk without getting totally weary. I've had a number of tests and they found I have some lingering effects from the clots I had in my lungs way back in August of 06- causing some increased pressure there which then affects the heart as it tries to pump against that pressure. Not really enough to make it beat this fast (that's still a mystery to everyone), but it is a concern, so I'm not going to take any more Doxil. (Some of you may remember that it has the nasty problem of occasionally causing your heart to act up, which can be a permanent effect. No one wants to add to my heart issues by giving me another dose.) I've been started on medication to slow the heart down, so hopefully that'll give me more energy.
SO. I know nothing more. I will have to switch chemos of course, but I don't know yet what that will be or what it'll do to me. How much you want to bet I find out though? :)

And now for pictures!! AGH. What are we going to do without my pictures? I'll post some Tiffany has and try not to cry when I think about losing all of mine. :{

First of all the barn: The corner closest to the camera is where we're putting the living quarters. I'm thrilled about my design.... I'll try to share it with you as it goes up.

And now for the hard workers sweating it out, trying to finish this barn!!!

And finally - my arguments for why only God should try to decorate in December:

These last 2 are mine - - I salvaged them from my online photo site. Thank goodness for online photo sites! Good days all of you - have splendid holidays and keep in touch!

Hello dear friends

We've had privileges lately of Special Meetings and my grandmother's funeral. What priceless days!! I feel richly blessed and as I think of what it means to have a grandmother whose death is only a victory, I am awed and humbled. I want to learn from that.

While at those gatherings, lots of you mentioned reading and enjoying my blog and I wanted to thank you. I've got to admit that I'd begun to wonder if there was anyone out there. But since there is, I shall carry on!!

Andy and I are doing splendidly. Our 2nd anniversary is coming up, we're still talking (*smile), we're having fun, we're working hard and dealing with problems as they come. He's still healthy as a horse and my stability on this rocky cancer journey. As far as that cancer ... who knows! ? That cancer number is down this time around (a relief for most as it had gotten really high the last time, but I'm not sure whether I believe that number anymore). I feel absolutely grand when not under the effects of chemotherapy. For having what the doctors originally called a "very aggressive cancer" I am doing very well... I am up and about, able to do just about anything I would like to do. I am so fortunate as I know many people struggle very much with cancer and the treatments.

It's been cold here - delightful, really. I love winter, weirdly enough. Here's a photo of our fairy-tale house and one of me bundled up to go move cows a couple weeks ago:

And here are our little ones, enjoying sharing some body heat:

And finally our special, Special company: If any of you have a spare second, please leave a comment. I love reading them, love how it makes me feel connected to all of you and like there's a reason to keep this up. Thank you, dear friends!

Happy and Beautiful Thanksgiving

Here's what we woke up to this Thanksgiving morning. Happy day to all of you!

Okay, Okay... :)

I'm hearing from all fronts that I'm WAY behind on updating my blog. Many apologies, but I guess it's a good feeling to know folks are out there checking on it, interested in our progress. So thanks. It's good to know we've been missed. :)

So, in short, we're grand.

We've been busy as beavers, traveling, working, building, riding, living...

Oh and getting chemo. Barf. Well, not really - I haven't barfed, it's just a figure of speech. It's just sort of a 'barfy' thing, y'know what I mean? Although I can't complain about the last session. I've done splendidly. Just had the most recent round on Thursday, so we're keeping our fingers crossed for another relatively easy round.

Here are photos of life lately as I mentioned above...

Traveling:

Above are a few scenes from Amarillo where we went last week to watch friends compete at the World Championship Ranch Rodeo. Good friends and good times!!! I'd recommend it to anyone.

Working:

Building:

Riding:

And Living:

Oh and selling horses! Check out the "Horses For Sale" page on my website and you'll see they're dwindling. In fact, we've got a guy coming up from Colorado on Monday with a trailer because he's that sure he's going to take one of the remaining ones home. This has been totally amazing, selling horses this way. What a blast! I feel like I can find great homes for them like this - - a nationwide audience to sell to. Only ONE of them has ended up in Wyoming. The rest are going far and wide.

So as I said - we're grand. No complaints at all.

Keep smiling everyone and continue being thankful for your health.

You know you have too many dogs when...

And yes, Lisa you're right.... if anyone wants to come visit here they should bring plenty of Valium and allergy meds. =)

The Loudest Day on the Ranch

It's weaning day... Colts are crying, moms are nickering, the newly separated studs are screaming (yes this is the right word. If you've never heard it, just trust me), the geldings running the fences wondering what they're missing ... Ah! Ranch life.

I know I've disappeared from blog-land for awhile, but it's for a good reason. I skipped chemo at the normal 28-day mark because of side effects and am not scheduled again until 10/15, so I am feeling 100% and loving it. I've been out riding, hunting, traveling, and putting together our business finally after 2 years of it needing done. I started an accounting program, developed a website (all on my own - I have to brag about that - and don't forget to check it out from the link on the right-hand side of this page), taken thousands of horse pictures and posted ads on different internet sites and magazines. It's been quite a month. I LOVE IT!!! Folks, I'm gonna say it again... if you feel good (or, in other words, if you get up and don't think about how you feel), appreciate it. Please.

My cancer count is down to 249. Last count was 268 and this little drop was during a time I got no chemo at all. My doc thinks it's because the chemo is still working. I think it's because I'm a good fighter. *smile*

Here are some photos of my birthday trek to the Gros Ventre above Jackson. It was sunnier than this and the colors were amazing. Wish the pics had turned out better!

Riding an ugly borrowed horse, but having fun anyway. *smile* Oh and no, we didn't find anything.

And here's one of our beautiful babies. Don't you just want to give her a hug? I know, I know, that's such a girly, animal-lover thing to say, but she's adorable! =)

And then there's Gus again... it's the proud mama in me, I guess. (And this proud mama is feeding him too much, as you can tell.)

Good days, all!

Maybe I have too much time on my hands. =)

We Have Returned

Our internet is back!!! Hoo-Rah! So here I am with a post although there's nothing much new here... Oh, well, I did hear about my latest CA-125 and it came down to 268 from 349 after 1 more Doxil dose. And since Doxil isn't known for great drops in CA-125, I'm glad for any number in the downward direction. Quite a change though, from the results after the first round of Carboplatinum and Taxol (the kinds of chemo I got last year) when it dropped to 17. We still talk about the "17-dance" around here - - the one I did when I got the phone call with that result. It was quite a show. =)

Folks have been asking about my hair, so I'll put a few pics here. Everyone should be prepared though, for the next kind of chemo to cause me to lose it again. Only a few kinds of chemo DON'T cause hair loss, so can't imagine I'll be this lucky forever. Ah well - I'll just appreciate it while I have it and when it falls out again I'll buy more hats and wigs, just for fun. Just think, all you men out there, one more thing for the women to shop for and accessorize with. Yay.
For now though, here's a shot from the back:
And from the top. I think I look like I'm wearing an Annie wig.

Here's one of Andy Farmin' the Home Place:

And then here's a photo proving how good I felt today. I'm testing out an 18-year-old mare a friend is trying to sell us. She's the fastest moving horse I think I've ever ridden. She was a cutter and a barrel horse (hmmm... maybe many of you don't know what that is. If not, let me know) and if you're not careful she'll spin around sideways, right out from underneath you. Plus she has one speed: FAST. What we work on is staying at a trot without breaking into a lope. She honestly doesn't know how. But give me a movin' horse any day. The slow ones drive me mad.

Good days everyone!!!

You're Right, Michelle B

I should post a few snapshots from Sat Eve since Karen F sent them our way. What a good time we had... just wish we could all get together more often and more of you could be here!

Here's a cool shot of Dave...

A few of us ...

Here are Darrell and Lex working to remember the words to the song about Beer-Can Bob and his love, Tolula from Missoula. A song everyone should know because it's guaranteed to make you laugh.

Some of the singers...

And Ty added occasional percussion... (Dove season started, you know.)

Life Is Good

I was lying in bed the other night and I realized I didn't hurt anywhere and could move freely without pulling at some necessary line or tubing and I was taking it for granted. Shame on me!

So I took a few moments to look back on the months when I had:

* a tube from my nose into my stomach (absolute agony in case you've never had one. I wouldn't suggest one. Ever. *smile*),

* an incision from stem to stern with 50-some staples holding my remaining innards in,

* oxygen blowing into my nose,

* white puffer-things wrapped around my feet intermittently filling with air to prevent blood clots forming, (which didn't work, by the way)

* wound vacuum taped and suctioned onto that fistula opening on my tummy,

* my Groshong (permanent intravenous) line hooked up to a suitcase carrying my nightly nutrition,

* head freezing cold because I had no hair and hats don't stay on bald heads at night ...

* AND... I swore I would never, ever take for granted sleeping peacefully past 4 a.m. when the stupid (sorry, but it's true) lab lady would show up at my hospital door with NO smile, NO polite greeting, no warning about the overhead lights she cruelly flicks on, and says, "I need your arm". Same arm, same poor bruised hole in the vein, never once switching spots, until I got a nice ball of scar tissue over the spot. Grr!!!

How did I ever sleep????? I was never completely free of extraneous appendages until they removed my Groshong awhile back. And here I am forgetting it already. I'm not asking for sympathy here, by recounting all these things.. no way!! I'm saying - life is GOOD. =)

Did anyone else get to witness this the other night? It was 3 a.m., so likely only us folks with hay farmers in the family were up and about at such an unearthly hour. ... the photo doesn't really do it justice. I don't know when I've seen a better lunar eclipse.

And here's what we do when Andy's got time off... Notice neither of us is working. =)

Settlin'

We're getting back into the home groove. A week away from baling proved to be nearly too much, so Andy's back at it again with a vengeance. The mouth sores I griped about to a few of you are resolving, so that is a beautiful relief. I had cold cereal for breakfast this a.m. which would have been a complete impossibility a few days ago. Food textures.... do you have any idea how wonderful they are? When you've been imprisoned by yogurt and well-smashed-up eggs, the freedom of popcorn and pecans is beyond description.

My doc appointment and chemo went all right this week. When listening to my lungs, the doc heard some fluid in and/or around my right lung again and sent me in for an x-ray. The radiologist checked out the x-ray and says I don't need any fluid drained off right now, so that's a relief. They were all very concerned about why that would be building up again. *sigh. But for now, I guess we're letting it be.

Dad got to take a ride in a WWII Flying Fortress B-17 today. It was an awesome experience and Tiff got some photos, so I'm putting them on here.

How cool is this?!!!!

Don't know how well you can see in this photo, but hopefully shows how 'well used' this old Fortress is.

Below here, if you look closely, you can see a guy crammed into the nose cone, which dad also got to ride in during his flight... Looks to me like it'd be as close to flying like a bird as anyone'd ever be - straight out in front, below the pilots. Thankfully they weren't flying over Germany 60-some years ago. Might be a rather nerve-wracking seat then.

Wyoming

We had good travels – found we really liked San Francisco, it’s beautiful and fun and has a unique sense of grace and style that sets it apart from other cities – but are glad to be home, too. Our flights home were pleasantly boring other than flying through a thunderstorm on the way home and pitying the poor out-of-staters who never have to ride our little puddle-jumper planes. They were rather green around the gills and one poor fellow (tough, outdoorsy type, coming to spend a week camping and fishing here) had to make rather expedient use of the airsickness bag. Made me feel tough, even though I too was approaching queasiness. =)

One thing of note: I finally found out my CA-125 and it is down. (457 before chemo, 349 after a couple chemo doses). Although not a huge drop, it is, of course, good news and is actually rather surprising to my healthcare team. Even a rise in CA-125 is considered normal after starting Doxil because it simply takes awhile to work, if it’s going to at all. So we are cautiously optimistic about that.

Life’s good though. It’s good to be home, nice to hear only quiet farm sounds without the constant rush and roar of traffic and people. A person forgets how beautiful it is here until they return. Guess it’s good to leave once in awhile so you don’t keep taking it for granted.

Last Eve in Houston

Hi all ya'll! Thanks for your comments and emails!! We're doing great - heading home in the morning, already. Hard to believe!!


Yesterday's appointment was basically a repeat of San Francisco's. We decided we must need to exhaust the 'normal' chemo options before I excite the big wig doctors into suggesting new/advanced treatments. Even with my repeated questions and requests, she had nothing to offer except what we've been doing and then more chemo. .... We admit to being a bit suprised as we surely hoped for some exciting news here, but we'll just head home and get back onto Doxil treatments, keeping our fingers crossed for a good response.

It's so lovely here though. Everyone complains about the heat, but truthfully we feel it's just as hot at home. And due to the frigid air conditioning everywhere it actually feels grand to soak the heat in when you step outside. =) The hotel has a covered walkway to the different hospital buildings and a wonderful shuttle service, provided free (notice I didn't say "FOR free" Michelle B. *smile*), so getting around is pleasantly simple.


Although this doesn't do it justice, here's a photo of the hotel atrium in the lobby. Like I said, it's so lovely here! Everyone does such wonderful things with lawns and landscaping!

Next...

Here we are again... now posting from Houston. Yesterday's flight went smooth as silk and we arrived here about 6 p.m. We are in the most amazing hotel which is connected directly to MD Anderson. They are totally amazing...
They prepare you for your appointment, tell you the best way to get there, provide every service needed, have a FREE shuttle to nearby dining/shopping/museums and the most beautiful rooms. It's a little like how Huntsman Cancer Center treated us... they just know what cancer patients need, how best to help them, etc. Thank you Karen F., for suggesting this place! We are very, very impressed.

Unfortunately we're in a bit of a hurry, so this will have to be it for now. Just wanted to let everyone know we're doing fine and I'll post again as soon as we can after the appointment.

Wish us luck.

Day 2

Our baggage arrived this morning!!!! That's the most important news. =)

The coolest part of yesterday was walking to the appointment. Such awesome sights, streets, houses!!

I know, I know - everyone knows what San Fran looks like, but I couldn't help snapping some photos. All these tall skinny houses, stacked together like sandwiches!

Dr Chan was a very, very nice guy who, after the hour of waiting on him, was very clear and decisive in both his manner and his ideas for me. He laid out a plan for what to do over the next few months and what happens when Doxil fails, and he'll send that plan on to my home-town docs. We're hoping the Houston docs have a little bit more positive attitude because his was more, 'when this fails, try this...' 'then when that fails, we'll go to this...' No encouragement about anything actually working or curing.

Then "Aunt" VernaAnn picked us up and we had the most amazing meal in the most amazing place on the ocean with her and Russ, Sharon, Craig and Kevin Farnell. Then headed home for much needed rest.

For today... not much. Just want to do whatever doesn't overwhelm, so we're playing it by ear. Hope all's well with all of you and Dave, we're surely thinking of you today!!! Wish we were there.